Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize