Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
