Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
