So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
