she smelled like a LAN party
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
