Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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