I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
