my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
