Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
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