Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
