i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
