we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Life is so much better after having sex.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
