fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
