dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
