bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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