My pussy is not your playground.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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