Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
