Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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