I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
