This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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