Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
