The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think my fart just growled at me.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Randomize