His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
this will be a night to untag.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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