do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
did i walk over a car last night?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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