how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
PS: I just woke up from my shower
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
