I got chris browned last night
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
