We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
