what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You took a bar mat shot.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
