I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
