But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
