i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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