So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
