She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
