the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
