ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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