somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
