I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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