So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
