I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
