marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
