i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
