You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
