If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
