Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
