Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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