Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
