i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
