He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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