so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
