I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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