i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
