bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I FOUND THE LEGS
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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