I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
