i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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