You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i wish my penis had a tongue
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
