My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
