What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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